It's not you. . . It's me:A Note to My Former Self.

Dear former self,

It’s hard for me to say, but this just isn’t working anymore. I’m sorry, but I think we should break up. Please know—it’s not you. . . it’s me.

I want to take a moment to acknowledge the amazing times we’ve had together. When it was good, it was really good. We’ve gotten to take some amazing trips together. We’ve experienced some wonderful once-in-a-lifetime opportunities. . . Remember getting to do Star Wars in Concert? I am sooo grateful for the good times and will cherish those moments for the rest of my life.

But, we’ve also had some not-so-great times—from bad to just plain ugly. We’ve had depressive episodes that stayed past their welcome. We hung around places a little too long that kept requiring us to stay small. We settled for just surviving—or in some cases just functioning—when we knew our soul begged us for more. We learned how to cope but not always how to live.

I know you did the best you could with what you had at the time. Truly—I don’t hold it against you. You were my protector when you needed to be. You helped keep me afloat when I wasn’t sure I deserved a life raft. You led—sometimes dragged—me through seasons that I wasn’t even sure that I’d survive. For that, I will always love you.

But somewhere along the way, you started to cost me my aliveness.

The truth is. . . I’ve outgrown you. We’re just not in the same place anymore. We no longer want the same things. I’ve outgrown the need to stay small just to stay comfortable. I’ve outgrown the habits, the patterns, the apologies for wanting more. I can’t keep negotiating with fear or explaining my dreams away. I can no longer continue just rehearsing life when I’m meant to be living it.

You were my safe place for so long, but safe isn’t what I’m after anymore.

I hope you know that this goodbye isn’t rejection—not really.

I’m not erasing you. . . I wouldn’t be who I am today without you. Instead, I’m taking the lessons, the resilience, the tenderness, and the wisdom you earned the hard way with me. But, I’m leaving behind the doubt, the self-betrayal, and the belief that I have to earn my worth. (Don’t even get me started on the self-hate. . .that toxic shit can kick rocks.)

So, this is it. . . the end of our time together.

Thank you for getting me here.

Thank you for carrying me when I couldn’t even carry myself.

Thank you for your love and faith in me.

You’ve kept me safely on the ground, but my wings are ready now—and I’m meant to soar.

Goodbye, my love.

All my best,

JT